


Never Be Alone

by heartlights



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, Irondad, POV Peter Parker, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Mess, Precious Peter Parker, Sort Of, Spider-Man: Far From Home (Movie), Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2020-06-26 19:11:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19774606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartlights/pseuds/heartlights
Summary: They were all smiling, but Peter could see the pain in Tony’s eyes despite having his family right there with him. Peter was so sure it was him who caused Tony’s pain, feeling a pang of guilt in his stomach. Sighing, he curiously looked over and found a video file with his name on it.He furrowed his eyebrows. “F.R.I.D.A.Y.? When was the file ‘ For Peter ’ created?”There was no answer for a while and Peter was worried that he was talking to nothing but then a voice spoke. “The file ‘ For Peter ’ was created on September 21st, 2023, before boss left to go to the Avengers Compound. Would you like me to play it?”OR...Peter needs to learn how to cope when his world comes crashing down on him...But how can he when everything is reminding him of his mentor?(FATHER-SON RELATIONSHIP ONLY!!!!)





	1. Are You Really Gone?

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea after hearing this song play on my Alexa. I couldn't sleep until I got it all planned out. This is based off (sort of) a song that I love: Never Be Alone by Shawn Mendes. I highly recommend listening to it :))
> 
> It was so hard to write; it made me tear up just writing it. I'm sorry.
> 
> I wrote this a while ago, and I didn't post it until now. I'm hoping there are no mistakes, but I'm sure it's bound to happen. My apologies if there are. Please kindly let me know if there are and I will fix it right away. Thank you and I hope you enjoy.

Peter stared at the spot where the memorial was first at, his body feeling numb. 

He remembered Tony’s blank eyes and his half-burnt face and it kept replaying in his head. His mind couldn’t process what was happening. 

Tony is alive. He is in the lab right now, making improvements on his iron man suits, waiting for Peter to come join. But the only thing Peter heard was silence. No AC DC playing in the lab. Nothing. Not even the birds were chirping. _Silence._

Tears that formed in his eyes finally fell and he didn’t do anything to wipe them away. Why bother when he was hurting all over? This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t- 

“Peter?” a voice came from behind him. He didn’t turn around, but he knew it was coming from Pepper. May had went inside to find Happy, knowing full well that Peter wanted to be alone. He squeezed his eyes shut when he felt her hand on his shoulder. 

“I need to be alone,” Peter managed to say, hating the fact that his voice cracked at the end. “ _Please._ ”

Pepper pulled him in a hug. The hug was gentle and motherly and Peter couldn’t help the sob that left his lips as he held onto her. “I know it’s hard, Peter, and it’s okay. It’s hard for all of us. You can let it out. We all have lost someone important to us. It’s okay to show some emotion from time to time.” Pepper rubbed his back soothingly as he cried. He remembered the blank look after Tony died and he squeezed his eyes shut, willing his mind to stop thinking of that moment. He knew this will haunt him for the rest of his life.

It was silent for a while, each in their own thoughts with Pepper still rubbing his back, until Peter broke it. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, his gaze on the ground.

Pepper broke the hug to bring him to arms length. “Sorry? Peter, look at me.” When he didn’t, Pepper gently placed her hand under his chin and lifted them. Peter’s teary eyes slowly met Pepper’s concerned ones. “Why are you sorry?”

“I’m sorry I didn’t do more. Tony would have been alive if I-”

Pepper cut him off. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence. You two are more alike than you realize,” she muttered under her breath. She sighed with remorse. “You have nothing to be sorry for, kid. Tony did this so you could live- so everyone could live. He didn’t do this because it was an easy way out. He did this because he thought it was the right thing to do, and I know him. He would’ve been devastated if it had been you. He went back in time to bring you back, for goodness sake. He couldn’t live with himself knowing that he didn’t try to get you back. Sure, maybe I would have liked him to be here right now, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. He died a hero, as the suit of armor around our world. It may take,” she paused with a shaky breath before continuing, “some time to move on, but I want you to know that you don’t have to go through this alone. Do you understand me?”

Peter nodded, looking into her glassy eyes. “Yeah.” said Peter quietly. “Thank you, Mrs. Stark.”

Pepper closed her eyes. “Pepper is just fine, Peter.” Seeing him nod once more, Pepper said with tiny smile, "Let’s go in and get some food. I don’t want you to starve yourself. I know it’s hard now, but it will get better in time.”

Peter didn’t think it would be possible to move on. Tony was like a father-figure to him and Peter had lost him. Maybe he should stop getting close to people. Maybe then will he stop losing them and leaving him broken. Shaking his thoughts off, for now, he followed Pepper inside.

\-----------------------------------------------

_I promise that one day I’ll be around_

_I’ll keep you safe_

_I’ll keep you sound_

After eating a small amount of his pizza, per Pepper’s request, Peter hesitantly walked to the table Pepper had suggested him to see. He reluctantly stood in front of the wooden table; it reminded him too much of the one Tony would work on in his lab a couple years ago. 

Peter ran his hands along the smooth surface of the table, his eyes scanning around the table in the hopes of coming across Tony’s blueprints, schematics, and prototypes. He could vividly remember the time where Tony allowed him to help with one of the iron suits. Peter would work on the smaller parts at another table, chipping in ideas from time to time. Tony would think about it and then eventually add Peter’s ideas to the suit - most of them, anyway. A wave of dizziness hit him after the memory, and Peter leaned on the edge of the table for support only to find a small button. Pressing it slowly, a holographic computer popped up. The lock screen was a family photo of Tony with Pepper and Morgan. 

They were all smiling, but Peter could see the pain in Tony’s eyes despite having his family right there with him. Peter was so sure it was him who caused Tony’s pain, feeling a pang of guilt in his stomach. Sighing, he curiously looked over and found a video file with his name on it. 

He furrowed his eyebrows. “F.R.I.D.A.Y.? When was the file ‘ _For Peter_ ’ created?” 

There was no answer for a while and Peter was worried that he was talking to nothing but then a voice spoke. “The file ‘ _For Peter_ ’ was created on September 21st, 2023, before boss left to go to the Avengers Compound. Would you like me to play it?”

Peter stalled, pacing back and forth anxiously. He knew he should watch it. The Tony Stark- his mentor, his hero- had made it for him and the past Peter would be jumping with joy at the thought of his hero doing something for him. But now, he wasn’t sure what he would do if he saw Tony’s face again. He sighed out shakily. “Yes, play the video.”

A hologram of Tony appeared in front of him, and his knees grew weak. Luckily, there was a chair behind him and he sat down as the video played.

“Is it recording? Good. Hi Pete.” Peter closed his eyes, a single tear leaving his eyes. Peter could hear the shakiness in Tony’s voice and it was making it worse. “It’s been almost five years now. Five years without you here. And I’m not good with words or emotions, I never was. But god I miss you. I miss your crazy ramblings and your enthusiasm and your voicemails - yes, I listen to them, every single one of them - and oh what I would do to get you back.” 

There was a slight tremor in his voice as he paused. Even from the hologram, Peter could see that Tony’s eyes were filled with tears. “A lot has happened during the past five years. We took care of the purple guy. By we, I mean everyone else while I was stuck in the med bay - I was fine, don’t worry about it. Then, I decided that I was ready for more after everything was calm... well as calm as it could get with half of the population missing. If you haven’t met Morgan yet, she’s a fireball. I think you’d like her.”

Hologram Tony sighed, briefly letting his face fall in his hands. “But even with her around, I still feel like there’s a piece of me that is empty and it won’t ever be full unless you’re here and - god, I’m a mess. I’m sorry.” Tony cleared his throat after his voice cracked. “I’m sorry. If it wasn’t for me bringing you into this, you would still be here. Alive. Breathing. _It should’ve been me._ ”

Peter’s breath hitched just as Tony did the same. Pepper was right, Peter realized, heaving a sigh. They both had the same guilt they bottle up inside them, trapping them from feeling anything but remorse. 

Peter turned his attention to the hologram, catching Tony closing his eyes before opening them. Hologram Tony turned away to wipe at them furiously. “Well, Cap, Nat, and the ant guy came to visit me, said they had a plan to bring everyone back. I thought it was crazy at first. I mean time travel? That’s not even possible. It sounded too good to be true. So I declined and sent them on their way. Later that night, after sending Morgan to bed, I decided to test it out, see if there really was a way to go back in time. And I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It was successful. 99.987%. Then Morgan came in, and I had to pause what I was doing to give her a popsicle. That’s the only way she’ll go to bed. She’s a sneaky one, I swear. 

“After tucking her back to bed, I couldn’t stop thinking about the time heist, that’s what that ant guy called it. I didn’t know if I should do it, fearing that if I did, I would be putting Morgan at risk of never existing.” 

Tony paused, his eyes looking away from the camera. “But then I thought of you. I knew I had failed to keep you safe that day when we were in Titan. Your body crumbling into ashes still haunts me, even to this day. That made me more determined to get you back. I need you to be here right now, and I won’t stop until I do. So, I made a mobius strip that could easily tell us exactly where we are in the past when we do decide to go back in time. It’s kind of like a GPS. I’ll be bringing it to the others tomorrow.”

Tony finally looked into the camera and he stepped closer, staring intently in the lenses. Peter leaned forward, already dreading what Tony was about to say. “When we do decide to go back in the past, there might be a chance…” Tony trailed off, eyes glistening with tears. “A chance I won’t make it. Hopefully it’s after I get you back because I don’t know what I would do if you didn’t hear how proud I am of you since I never say it to you. Like ever. And I regret not saying it to you sooner.

“Pete, Underoos, my boy, I know I don’t say this much, actually not at all, but I want you to know that I love you and all that jazz. You have become more of a son to me over the past few years I’ve known you. More than I realized. Keep on being the annoying, happy, selfless, and smartest person that I love so much, but try not to get yourself killed, try not to be reckless. I don’t think my heart could take it. And don't ever change. Not even when I’m gone. Please. 

“You’ll grieve for me and as much as I don’t want you to, I know it’s bound to happen. So go ahead, mourn, grieve, do what you like, but don’t do what I would do and definitely don’t do what I wouldn’t do. You heard that already, but I need to get it in your stubborn mind. Then, you gotta move on, Pete, you gotta promise me that. And it’s not your fault. I know you think it will be, trust me, I’m the same way, but you weren’t the one who wanted to destroy the planet. That was the Titan guy. You gotta remember that.

“I want to be there with you so desperately after this fight ends, to be there for you, to keep you safe, but I don’t know if that will happen and that brings me more pain, so much more pain I--” Tony broke off, his hand flying to his chest, his eyes widening. He bent down to gasp for air. It took a moment to recover from his slight panic attack. “I’m sorry you had to see that. It’s just hard, _so hard_. But anyway, I don’t want you to be like me in the past five years that you were gone. I wasn’t happy and I don’t want you to go through that too.” 

Tony sighed. “I really am not good at words, am I? Look, I may be gone, but that doesn’t mean I’m truly gone. Whether you know it or not, I see myself in you. That may not be a good thing at times but I see so much potential in you and I know you will become successful in your own way, not mine. I don’t see what you see in me, but I feel honored to be your mentor. Take care of Pepper and little Morgan for me, will you Pete? I know Pepper will probably disagree with me, that she can take care of herself - which I’ve always admired about her. She was always the strongest one between the two of us - but everyone needs help every once in a while, including you.” 

Tony narrowed his eyes at the camera. “And you take care of yourself, alright? I would like it if you didn’t die. Because that would be on me. Your safety is my number one priority and I don’t want to see you hurting and not asking for help. Please. It’s going to be painful enough, not being able to help you anymore and I know you. You don’t want to be a bother to people but _trust me_ , you aren’t bothering anybody. Call Happy, Pepper, Rhodey, Aunt Hottie, anybody you trust. They care about you, some even more than they think. 

“I remember how I pushed everyone away because I didn’t want them to see my vulnerable side, but that was a mistake. What I’m trying to say is, you’re not alone. You never will be. I gotta go now, but I better not see you doing any drinking or anything that I would be doing. And please call me Tony from now on. Mr. Stark is just too old-fashioned for me. We’ve known each other for a while now and I think it’s time we cut the formalities, yeah? Alright, I will see you soon, my son. I love you.”

Before the video could cut off, Peter asked F.R.I.D.A.Y. to pause the clip. Hologram Tony was looking in the camera, his eyes still had tears in them but instead of the pained expression he had throughout the video, Peter saw worry, pride, and one more thing: _love._

_Right now it’s pretty crazy_

_And I don’t know how to stop_

_Or slow it down_

It was silent after the video played and Peter put his face in his hands, his mind overcome with grief and pain. Hearing Tony’s voice again, especially after a couple days of him being gone, wasn’t something Peter expected to do. And it _hurt_.

_My son._ Tony had called Peter his son and he didn’t know what to do. Feelings of guilt, anger, and sorrow swirled around his thoughts and instead of bottling them up like he usually does, he allowed them to consume him until he couldn’t breathe. 

He clawed at his throat, his chest, his heart, but that didn’t do anything to relieve his pain. Both physically and emotionally. Nothing could help him. But after recalling Tony’s words, air slowly made its way to his lungs and Peter slumped in his seat, his head spinning with dizziness and unwelcome thoughts. 

He could hear voices from a distance, but everyone was mostly outside; Pepper probably ordered them outside to give Peter privacy. He was grateful for that. He didn’t need the Avengers - or anyone, for that matter- seeing him like this, all choked up and useless. Right now, he felt like a nobody. Not Spider-Man. Not a hero. Not an Avenger. But Peter Parker, a lame loser who was too weak, too broken, too hopeless. A _nobody_. 

Putting his face in his hands, he felt wetness slide down his cheeks. He let out a strangled scream, the sound coming out muffled. 

It wasn’t fair. Tony should have been here right now, with his family and loved ones. Natasha too. Peter wasn’t close to her - he made a mental note to pay his respects to her later - but after hearing of her sacrifice, he couldn’t stop thinking of how they deserved better. What did he do to deserve to be here when both Iron Man and Black Widow, who were better heroes than Peter will ever be, were gone? 

_I miss you._ Peter wasn’t expecting those words to come out of his mentor’s mouth. He knew he’d been rambling in front of Tony, but he couldn’t help himself. He was in front of someone he’s been idolizing for almost all his life and he tried to play it cool at first, but his excitement had taken over and he couldn’t stop the words that were coming out. 

Thinking back on it now, Peter was embarrassed. Tony didn’t seem to mind though. He had always listened to what Peter had to say, even though it didn’t seem like he was and his heart warmed at the thought of it. 

But his heart instantly went cold when he remembered that Tony will never be here to listen to him anymore. Who was he going to talk to now? He knew he could talk to May and Tony had said he could talk to Pepper, Happy, and Rhodey, but it wasn’t the same. It will never be the same. Not anymore.

_You’re not alone._ Peter wanted to be alone. That way, he can be assured that those he cared about doesn’t get hurt. He had already lost his parents and two of his father-figures. He can’t lose anyone else. Not on his watch.

But then he remembered Tony’s words and that halted his thoughts. An ache settled in his heart and he so desperately wanted Tony to be here, to reassure him, maybe even lecture him, but most importantly, he wanted Tony because he felt safe with him around. Whenever Tony was around, he didn’t need to worry about anything, knowing that Tony would lift those worries off his shoulders as soon as it got heavy. Tears welled up in Peter’s eyes once more. 

_I love you._ This did it. Peter allowed his emotions to consume him and he sobbed in his hands. Tony, the Tony Stark, Iron Man, loves him. Disbelief filled him. How could Tony love him? He was only a kid from Queens, who kept bringing more problems to his life. Tony didn’t seem to mind but Peter knew better. He had seen the exhaustion in his mentor’s eyes whenever he had to worry about Peter. A burden. Sob after sob wracked his body and he couldn’t breathe. He clutched at his chest, his heart. Only pain welcomed him.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. spoke up and Peter managed to hear. “Peter, you seem to be in distress. Should I get Pepper in the room?”

Tears still fell down his face as Peter shook his head. “N-No, F.R.I.D.A.Y. I-I’m fine,” he hiccuped, his lungs lacking air. Peter gasped.

“I suggest you take some breaths or I’ll be forced to call Pepper.”

Peter closed his eyes, trying to focus on his breathing but the thought of Tony disrupted his attempt. He could see black stars starting to form and he shook his head, feeling the world spin slightly. Knowing that if he didn’t calm himself now, Pepper would have to come in and help. Peter didn’t want that, so he kept his focus on his breathing, disregarding any dark thoughts coming into his mind. 

Eventually, the first breath of air entered his lungs and Peter sighed in relief. He held his attention to his breathing until he felt like he could breath easily. He closed his eyes, slumping back on the chair. His eyes began to droop, but he jerked awake after seeing Tony’s half burnt face in his mind.

It was clear, though, that exhaustion was beginning to take control and Peter managed to whisper, “I love you, too,” to no one before letting sleep take over, thoughts of Tony’s words still vivid in his mind. 


	2. A burden or a family?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter shook his head. “I still can’t wrap my mind around the fact that he’s gone. He should be here right now, with his family, his real family.” He paused. “I shouldn’t even be here.”
> 
> Happy frowned. “You are his family too, you know. He would never stop talking about you. Everything he did was to bring you back, and the universe, of course, but mostly you.”
> 
> “That’s the thing,” Peter muttered, hands clenched into fists. He ignored the warm feeling in his chest when Happy included him in the family. He wasn’t. “I didn’t want him to if it’s his life on the line. He shouldn’t have risked his life like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting. I've been busy trying to get ready for college and this was my first week, so I didn't have time to work on anything at all. If there's any error at all, I'll do my best to fix them. 
> 
> And I promise you it will get better in the end. Just trust me, you'll see what I mean when you get there ;))

_ Peter blinked his eyes open, his eyes squinting from the bright light. He glanced around and found himself on the ground surrounded by piles of dirt and debris. Realization dawned on him and he sat up quickly, regretting it as his head spun. Peter was back in battle, and they were losing badly.  _

_ He saw Thanos a couple of feet in front of him, occupied with Captain Marvel, who seemed to be gaining the upper hand. It wasn’t long until Thanos had to put the power stone on his other hand to knock her backward. She hit the ground with a loud thump.  _

_ His eyes widened in horror as Thanos delicately placed the power stone back in its place and even from here, Peter could see the power coursing through him. From the corner of his eye, he saw a movement running towards the Titan. It was Tony, and he looked angry. _

_ Peter tried to move forward, but a force seemed to hold him back. He could only watch as his mentor got closer to Thanos. _

_ “Mr. Stark!” Peter yelled, his eyes frantic and wide with panic. “Tony! Hey, someone help him!” _

_ No one responded and Peter groaned frustratingly. He shifted forward with so much force, he stumbled to the ground. Whatever was keeping him there had vanished. Spitting the dirt from his mouth, he scrambled to his feet and sprinted towards Tony. _

_ “Mr. Stark, wait! Let me do it. Please! I can handle it!” _

_ But he arrived seconds too late. Tears streamed down his face as he screamed. Then, the world went white. _

  
  


_ Now, Peter was kneeling down and in front of him laid Tony Stark. _

No, no no,  _ Peter thought, his breath hitching.  _ Not again.

_ “Mr. Stark?” He said hesitantly, reaching a hand out only to hastily put it down. Though Tony had no emotion on his face, Peter saw the pain and love in his eyes as he stared up at Peter, a small smile on his face. _

_ This couldn’t be happening. Going through it once was painful enough but to go through it again? It felt like a rug being roughly pulled from under him and he couldn’t stop falling. _

_ Just as the light in Tony’s eyes dimmed, Peter heard footsteps approaching him.  _

_ “You see, Peter,” said the familiar voice of Pepper, but it wasn’t the soft tone that he was used to. No, it was much more colder, more harsh. “You could’ve done more to save him. You could’ve been the one to snap. He would’ve been alive. But what did you do? You stood there and watched, like the coward you are. He had a family waiting for him, you know. A life. All of it gone, because of your mistake.” _

_ “I’m sorry!” Peter sobbed, his eyes still looking into Tony’s blank ones. He couldn’t bring himself to look away from his burnt face. “It’s all my fault!” _

_ Pepper laid a hand on his shoulder, but it was tight enough to hurt. Peter welcomed the pain though. “That it is. No matter how much I’ll hide it, I’ll always blame you. You don’t deserve to be apart of this family. You don’t deserve him. You never have. He always had to worry about you. You’re the reason he’s dead. For that, you’ll pay.” _

_ Peter had never heard Pepper sound so venomous and he looked at Pepper in confusion only for his eyes to go wide as he stared at the repulsors pointed at him. He heard it powering up and before he could move, all he felt was pain. Excruciating pain. Then nothing. _

\-----------------------------------------------

_ Hey I know there are some things we need to talk about  _

Peter shot up, his hand going to his chest. When he didn’t feel a hole or pain, he closed his eyes, sagging in relief. But the empty feeling in his chest didn’t go away. 

_ It will never go away,  _ he thought to himself bitterly. Not that he minded. A world without his mentor wasn’t the same. It will never be the same. 

Peter found himself on a king bed, feeling the soft maroon bed sheet under him. He wasn’t sure how he got here; someone must have carried him up. The room was empty, only having a bed and a nightstand. There was a bookshelf beside the door, but there were barely any books on it. His eyes traveled in front of him and he saw a double window. He could barely see outside, and he assumed it was past midnight. Sure enough, he looked at the clock that was on the nightstand beside the bed: 1:15 am. He didn’t sleep that long and he knew he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. 

Peter swung his leg from under the blankets and stood up. The world spun and he paused, waiting for his sight to go back to normal. When it did, he exited the room and went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. After gulping it down, he walked to the window by the sink and looked out. It was dark, but he could see an outline of a tent a distance away. A tiny chair was beside it and several toys were scattered across the ground. Probably Morgan’s. 

He blinked back the tears when he thought of her and how little time she spent with her father. Tony should’ve been here. He shouldn’t have snapped and let Peter do it instead. Peter had super healing, Tony didn’t. He probably would’ve survived it. Peter put his face in his hands and sniffled. It was all his fault and he knew it. 

“It isn’t your fault, you know,” a voice said from behind him. Peter jumped, whirling around in surprise. It was Steve, who looked wide awake even when it was one in the morning. “I’m sorry, I thought you heard me coming.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m sorry for waking you,” Peter said quietly, turning to face out the window once more. “And it is. Everyone says it isn’t, but I know it is.”

Peter heard his footsteps come closer and felt Steve’s hand on his shoulder. Peter tensed but when he didn’t feel the pain like he did when Pepper squeezed his shoulders from his dream, he relaxed slightly. If Steve noticed, he didn’t mention it. 

“I know you may think it’s your fault, but trust me, it isn’t.” Steve paused, frowning. Peter saw the distant look in his eyes and he knew he was thinking back to a memory. “Tony was the same way. When he thought he lost you, he would bottle up all the emotions he was feeling, not letting anyone see the pain he was going through, especially Pepper. 

“But I’ve known him for quite a while now, and I could see the pain and remorse on his face. It was obvious that he thought it was his fault and he would wave people off when they said it wasn’t. He said he was fine, but I knew he wasn’t. 

“Tony would consume himself with work and he would spend so many hours in his lab with no sleep. Pepper managed to convince him to sleep, but it took a while. I don’t want that to happen for you either. 

“Peter, I know it might take a while to realize, but this isn’t your fault. None of it is. Tony died to save the world. Don’t let it consume you like it did to Tony. I don’t think he wants that for you. He would want you to move on, be happy. I know it will be hard, but I want you to know that we care about you and we’ll do our best to help as much as we can. Please let us. If you’re anything like Tony, you would probably disregard any help that you and although I know you can handle it, everyone needs help every so often.”

There was a pang in his chest when he remembered Tony said almost the exact same thing. “Thank you, Mr. Rogers-”

“Steve. Call me Steve.”

“-I just, I feel like it’s my fault. I should’ve been the one to snap. I have super healing, I can probably heal from it but Mr. Star-Tony,” Peter breathed out shakily. He closed his eyes briefly. “He obviously didn’t.”

Steve sighed. “Look, Peter-”

“Uncle Steve?” Steve turned around, and Peter peeked from behind. It was a girl who looked to be about five years old. Peter did a double-take. With her brown eyes and chestnut hair and her head tilted slightly to the side, she looked almost exactly like Tony. So, this must be Morgan. “What are you doing in the kitchen?”

Steve bent down to her size. “I’m talking to Peter. Aren’t you supposed to be in bed right now?”

“Yeah, but I couldn’t sleep,” Morgan said, her eyes brightening when Peter’s name was brought up. “Peter? The one daddy was talking about?” 

Peter’s eyes widened. Tony talked about him? He only had time to brace himself before Morgan threw herself into his arms. “Uh-Hey, Morgan right?”

“Uh-huh!” she said excitedly as she was lifted up. “Daddy said you were busy, and you couldn’t come visit for a long time. But you’re here now!”

“Yes, I am,” Peter said, smiling at her enthusiasm. Though his heart clenched when he remembered where he was the last five years. “You know, your dad has told me a lot about you too.”

“Really? Like what?”

Peter stumbled for words, but it didn’t take long after seeing her furrowed eyebrows. Just like Tony. “Um, like how smart and stubborn you are. And adorable.”

She scrunched her nose up. “Adorable?”

Peter couldn’t help himself; he bopped her nose. “That you are.”

“No I’m not,” Morgan said, frowning. She crossed her arms. “Babies are adorable. I’m not a baby!”

_ She is a fireball,  _ Peter thought. Out loud, he said, “To your mom and dad, you are.”

She wriggled around in his arms and he tightened his hold on her so she wouldn’t fall. “No, I’m not!”

_ And she’s stubborn too. I wonder who she gets that from.  _

“Okay okay,” Peter said, raising one hand up. “You’re not.”

Morgan nodded, a pleased smile on her face. That wiped the smile off Peter’s face. He gently put her back on the ground and stumbled backward, his back hitting the edge of the counter by the sink.

_ And I can’t stay _

“Peter?” Steve said, but his voice sounded far away like it was underwater. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Uncle Steve,” Morgan said, her voice laced with panic and fear. “What’s wrong with Peter?”

Peter’s vision blurred and he lowered -ungracefully, might he add - himself to ground, struggling to breathe. He saw a small figure trying to run to him, but Steve picked her up before she could get near. He could hear them talking, but he couldn’t pick up what they were saying. All Peter could think about was her smile. 

That smile. Though it was completely innocent and in a completely different situation, it still brought him back to when Tony shot him that one smile that was meant to reassure him but instead, it only made his heartbreak even more. All he felt at the time was pain and grief and it was overwhelming. Morgan’s smile was more lively, but they were still similar. Way too similar. 

There was a hand on his shoulder, and he jerked away, his heart pounding. The lights suddenly became too bright and the noises around him became too loud. Peter grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled, the pain becoming unbearable. His chest felt extremely tight and he whimpered, clawing at his chest. He could see Steve saying something, a worried look on his eyes, but Peter couldn’t do anything as he squeezed his eyes shut. The look of worry on Steve’s face reminded Peter too much of his mentor. 

“T-Tony,” Peter sobbed. Even though he was sitting, he felt the world spin and he began to fall sideways, but Steve caught him before he could hit his head. Peter barely heard Steve call out to F.R.I.D.A.Y. before he succumbed to the darkness.

\-----------------------------------------------

When Peter woke up, he noticed he was in a room but not the same room he was in before. There were no windows, but the lights were dim enough for him to see that this room was slightly bigger than the previous room he was in. 

He closed his eyes, breathing through his nose. He felt his cheeks burn when he thought of what happened recently, his hands covering his face. He glanced at the clock on the side of the bed laying on a gray nightstand: 6:18 am. About five hours ago, he freaked out in front of Morgan. Five hours ago he passed out in front of Captain America. Peter groaned, sliding his hand down his face as he blinked at the ceiling. He let his emotions get the best of him and instead of handling it appropriately, he freaked out like a child. Maybe he should get out and go home so he’s not a burden to anyone anymore. Maybe it’s for the best. He stayed in bed for a moment before he finally slid out of bed once more, slowly making his way to the door.

He peeked outside and seeing that the coast was clear, he walked towards where he thought the stairs were. He pulled out his phone from his back pocket and texted May if she could come pick him up. She responded instantly. The hospital she worked in was a few hours away from the cabin Tony and his family stayed in and she already missed a few days.  _ I’m sorry, Peter. You know I would want to pick you up. Ask Happy. I’m sure he’d love to take you home. _

Peter found a door at the end of the hallway and turned around quietly, making sure to keep his footsteps quiet. He walked down the stairs just when Happy opened the front door. Happy saw him and though he was trying to hide his emotions, Peter saw the concern flash on his face.

“Hey, Peter,” Happy whispered, looking around Peter before returning his gaze. “How are you doing?” When Peter didn’t answer, Happy pinched the skin between his eyebrows. “Stupid question. I’m sorry.”

Peter shook his head. “I still can’t wrap my mind around the fact that he’s gone. He should be here right now, with his family, his  _ real _ family.” He paused. “I shouldn’t even be here.”

Happy frowned. “You are his family too, you know. He would never stop talking about you. Everything he did was to bring you back, and the universe, of course, but mostly you.”

“That’s the thing,” Peter muttered, hands clenched into fists. He ignored the warm feeling in his chest when Happy included him in the family. He  _ wasn’t _ . “I didn’t want him to if it’s his life on the line. He shouldn’t have risked his life like that.”

“This is Tony we’re talking about. He wouldn’t just give up like that. And you saw what happened with Thanos. He wouldn’t rest knowing that you weren’t here and Thanos was, well not here, here, but on a different planet. Not the point.” Happy furrowed his eyebrows. “Do you not want to be here?”

Peter shrugged, his red eyes traveling to the ground. “He would still be here. And I feel like I’m intruding in his house. I don’t belong here. It’s my fault this happened and I don’t think I should be here any longer than I already have.” He looked up and met Happy’s eyes. “Can you take me home? Please?”

“Peter--”

“Please, Happy. Every moment I’m here, it brings me memories of him and images of the life he would have had if he was still here. It’s suffocating and I know that I’m not apart of it. Yeah, maybe I was before, but things are different now.  _ He’s not here.  _ I was just a burden to him. You know that, I know that.”

Happy let out a breath. “Yes, I’ll take you home, but I need you to hear me out first. No matter what you think, you do belong in this family and you’re not a burden. Not even close. You might not be his biologically, but you’re still his kid. He still loves you just the same as he loves Morgan. I understand that it’s hard to believe now, I get it. But you mean more to him than you’ll ever realize. One day, you’ll see just how much he cared and how important you are to him.”

The more they talked about Tony in past tense, the more his heart clenched. He let Happy continue. “You could try to stop him from doing what he did or to stop him from risking his life by getting you back, but all your tactics won’t work. He’s still going to do it whether you agree with it or not. You can’t really convince him to do anything else if he puts his everything into something. Once he puts his mind to it, there’s no changing his mind. Trust me, I’ve tried many times. 

His voice wavered slightly. “The past five years you were gone, it was hard on him. It was hard on May and… and me, but it was harder on him, having to, well, having to watch you crumble to ashes basically in his arms. He wouldn’t sleep, he wouldn’t eat, he wouldn’t talk to anyone for a while. And it’s not your fault,” he added, seeing the guilt on Peter’s face. “Peter,  _ listen to me. _ It’s not your fault. It took a while, but he never gave up on you. He wouldn’t stop until he got you back. He risked everything to get you back. He’d want you to live, to be happy.”

Peter sniffled. “I don’t know what I did to deserve all this. What makes me so special? Why me? I’m just a kid from Queens. I’m nobody.”

“That is without a doubt  _ not  _ true. You’re kind, selfless, humble, you put others first, no matter how much danger it would put you through. You still put your all into it to keep others safe before yourself, which is a good and bad thing if you ask me. I can list more if I wanted.”

Peter’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. He didn’t know Happy would say something like this about him. Normally he wasn’t, well,  _ happy _ , when he was with him. Not that he minded the change though; he felt the same warm feeling in his chest and for once, he let it fill him up.

“You’re family, Peter,” Happy was saying, never breaking eye contact. “You’re apart of us, you belong here. One big family _. _ You may not think this, but Tony did. We all definitely do: Pepper, Morgan, Rhodey, May, me. Everyone. You’re  _ family _ . And family looks out for each other. How many more times do I have to say family until you believe it?”

“Okay okay. We’re family.” Yeah, it was going to take a while for him to get used to saying that to them. “Thanks, Happy,” Peter said, his lips curving into a smile. It left his face after a moment of thinking. “I don’t think I’ll be okay for a while though.”

Happy led him to the couch, taking a seat beside him. “And that’s okay. That’s expected. Take your time, and remember you’re not alone through all this. Family, remember?”

Peter nodded, looking out the window on his side. From the corner of his eye, he saw Happy shooting him a small smile before turning his attention to the window as well. Together, they watched in comfortable silence as the sky turned a light shade of orange, the sun peeking out from the horizon and the birds beginning to call out quietly to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate all the comments and kudos. Thank you for checking out my story. I don't know when I'll have time to write again, but I'll try to find time. I'll see you in the next chapter. 
> 
> Also, if you have any questions about me or my story, feel free to ask :))


	3. Love and Reassurances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And there, scribbled underneath his name, I love you.
> 
> Peter blinked away the tears that formed in his eyes; it was a constant thing he’s been doing lately and he’s tired of it. But it seems like it will never end. He put the paper down on his counter with shaky hands and held the brown box in his hands. It wasn’t anything special, but he held it gingerly in his hands as he slowly opened the box.

Peter declined a call for the fourth time. Happy had been calling him every day and every time he did, Peter dismissed it. He knew he was being irrational, especially when he was considered a part of their “family,” but he couldn’t help but feel a tremendous amount of guilt whenever he was around them. No matter what anyone told him, he would always feel like Tony’s death was his fault. _It should’ve been him instead._ He swallowed a lump in his throat at the thought and pushed his thoughts aside as he placed his phone back on his nightstand with a sigh.

Peter stared blankly at the ceiling; it seems like he’s been doing that lately. There were times where he would always drift off to sleep, but he would only jerk awake when he saw the crippled look on Tony’s face as the light left his eyes; he just wanted it to stop. He just wanted Tony. 

A knock on the door made him jump and he sat up when the door opened. It was May, her face full of concern. She had a tray in her hand, and she set it down. Peter peered at the bowl and found it was pasta. 

“I made you your favorite,” May said with a small smile.

Peter shook his head. “I’m not hungry.”

“Peter,” she said, sitting on the edge of the bed on his side. He moved his gaze back to the ceiling. She sighed. “You need to eat something, kiddo.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, a pang in his chest. _Kiddo_. That was what Tony called him once. “I’m not hungry,” he said again.

He still had his eyes shut, but he could sense that May was frowning. He heard her place the bowl on his nightstand. “You haven’t eaten anything since yesterday and I know you didn’t eat a lot. I know you don’t feel like eating, but can you at least eat this bowl? You don’t have to finish it. Please, Peter. For me.”

His heart clenched hearing the despair in his aunt’s voice. He knew it was unfair for him to do this to her after everything she’s been through. From losing her husband to losing her nephew for five years. Peter opened his eyes and gave her a small smile, but it looked more like a grimace. “Okay, May. I’m sorry.”

May nodded, relief on her face as she picked up the bowl and handed it to him. Peter picked up the fork and took a few bites. He managed to finish half of the bowl before handing it back to May. The relief never left her face as she placed it back on the tray. There was a buzz and she jumped, taking her phone from her back pocket and peering at the name. 

Her eyebrows furrowed. “It’s Happy,” she said, putting the phone to her ear. “Hello?” She paused and Peter could hear Happy saying that Peter wasn’t answering his phone and he was worried. “Yeah, Peter’s fine. He’s right here actually. Did you want to talk to him?” She saw Peter rapidly shaking his head, but she handed him the phone with an apologetic smile on her face.

Peter sighed. “Hey, Happy. Everything okay?”

“Hey, kid. Why haven’t you answered my calls? Because I thought we went through this already.”

“Yeah, I know, I know.” May gave Peter a quick squeeze on the shoulder before grabbing the bowl and going out of his room, closing the door silently. “I just… look, it’s still a lot to process and I need time to process them myself. Everyone keeps telling me that it’s not my fault when I know it is. I feel like I’m repeating myself just saying that, but it’s true. It will always be my fault,” he added quietly.

“Peter,” Happy sighed. There was a slight pause before he continued, “I understand, more than you think. I wasn’t even there when it happened and maybe I could’ve done something about it.”

“No,” Peter said, alarmed. “You had to take care of Morgan. It’s what Tony would have wanted. And besides, everything was destroyed. It was like the end of the world.” _You would’ve died._ “It was the end of my world when Tony took the gauntlet and snapped. 

“It should’ve been me, Happy,” Peter said, his hand that wasn’t holding the phone closing in a fist. “I should’ve been me to snap.”

“Pe--”

“No, stop,” Peter sniffled, bringing his hand to cover his face. “He would still be here if I snapped. You know it.” A broken sob left his mouth and he squeezed his eyes shut. “I don’t know how you deal with me when I was the reason Tony died.” Peter cleared his throat. “I gotta go, Happy. But I do hope you know that I’m really sorry for causing you and Pepper and Morgan pain.” 

Peter hung up before Happy could say anything. He needed to stop doing this to himself but he knew he couldn’t. A burden, that’s what he was. It was for the best to cut himself off from the people Tony really cared about. 

The door opened and May stood there. Seeing him sob, she rushed forward, pulling him into her embrace and they stayed there for a while. Eventually, Peter fell asleep, and he felt May kiss his forehead before he was pulled into the darkness.

******

When Peter woke up, May wasn’t in his room anymore, but he could hear her setting things down on the kitchen table. The door to his room was open and he could hear a familiar man’s voice from the living room. He sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He leaned forward to see if he could hear who it was. There was a shout from the man and then Peter heard loud footsteps running through the hallway. He looked at the door, finding Morgan rushing up to him.

“Petey!” Morgan screamed, running to the bed. When she couldn’t climb onto the bed, Peter picked her up and she wrapped her arms around her neck, squeezing but not too tight. “Are you okay? I missed you!”

_Just let me hold you for a little longer now_

Peter made a noise from the sudden contact, but he lowered his head to her shoulder. He could smell the apple shampoo that she had on and he sighed, tears gathering in his eyes. As much as he enjoyed the hug, it reminded him too much of the last hug he and Tony shared before…

  
He shook his head, looking up and eyes meeting Rhodey’s. Eyebrows furrowed, he pulled back. “I missed you too, Morgan. And I’m okay, I promise,” he added with a smile, seeing the disbelieving look on her face. For a five-year-old, she was incredibly smart and perceptual. That thought didn’t help the smile to vanish on his face as a few tears slipped down his face.

Morgan frowned, tilting her head. She used her whole hand to wipe away his tears. “Why are you sad, Petey? Is it about daddy not being here? Mommy said he is in a better place now, but he will be back. He will start to miss us and he will come back and make us all happy again!”

Peter clenched his jaw, but he gave her a tight smile. She doesn’t know and he didn’t want her to. “I know. I just miss him.”

“I miss him too. Are you Spider-Man?”

Peter was taken aback. It’s a wonder how kids can change subjects just like that. “W-What?”

“I said, are you Spider-Man?” 

He glanced at Rhodey to find him mouthing, _Tony._

Heart clenching, Peter nodded. “I am. How did you know?”

“Daddy told me!” Morgan said cheerfully. “He said you are a hero and you always save the day. He said you are smart and you make sure people are okay. But you need to take care of yourself too. You are my hero and Daddy said that you are my brother.” Her lips parted and she jumped away from his arms to jump on the bed. “Spider-Man is my brother!”

Peter froze, his eyes wide. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. She really thought of him as her brother? Tony has been saying that? Morgan once again jumped in his arms and laid her head on his shoulder. He fought back tears, but they slipped down his face when he closed his eyes. “Yes, he--I am,” he breathed out shakily.

An ache settled in his chest at the thought of her considering him as her brother. The shock still hasn’t gone away and he looked up to find both Rhodey and May with a small smile on their faces. Peter must have a sad yet questioning look in his gaze because Rhodey mouthed, _Later_.

“Hey, Morgan,” Rhodey said after a while. “May made cookies. If you asked nicely, maybe she’ll let you have some.”

Morgan lifted her head from Peter’s shoulders, her eyes brightening. “Cookies?”

“You bet!” May said. “You can have as many as you’d like. Well, as many as Uncle Rhodey says you can.”

Morgan nodded but then she stopped. “But I want to stay with Petey.”

“He will still be here,” Rhodey said, picking her up and ignoring her protest. “Uncle Rhodey needs to talk to him, okay?”

Morgan frowned. “Is he in trouble?”

Rhodey shook his head. “No, he’s not in trouble. It’s a grown-up talk, and you’re not a grown-up yet, missy.”

Morgan narrowed her eyes. “Okay, but if you yell at him, I am going to go stop you.”

Rhodey chuckled, handing her to May. “I have no doubt you would.”

“What do you think of sugar cookies?” May said, disappearing downstairs.

Peter wrinkled his nose. “I’m not sure if she’ll like the cookies.”

Rhodey made his way over to Peter, pulling the chair near the desk over to the bed and sitting down. “They looked edible to me.”

“Wait until you try it.” Peter paused. “What are you doing here, Colonel Rhodes, sir?”

Rhodey shook his head, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Just thought I’d visit you, see how you were doing. And it’s just Rhodey, Peter. Or you can always call me Uncle Rhodey since you are a part of the family. Happy told you already, didn’t he? And Morgan did too.”

Peter nodded with a frown. “Yeah, but maybe I shouldn’t be.”

“Why not? And don’t say because it’s your fault. It’s not your fault,” Rhodey added before Peter could protest. “I will keep saying so until you believe it. Tony was stubborn, but he was my best friend. I know more about him, heck, I know more about him than I know myself. He may not show it, but he’s a big softie at heart. He cares what people think and he wants to keep people safe. His egoistic and arrogant nature was something he always showed to people so they can’t break down his walls. Only a few people managed to break it down, and I know you know who they are. You are one of them, after all.”

Peter furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”

“You sound so surprised.”

“Well yeah,” Peter said, scratching the back of his neck. “I’m just a kid that only causes trouble. He shouldn’t have to look after me like he did.”

“You wanted to save people, that’s what heroes do. And maybe you get into some trouble but trust me, kid, he would’ve wanted to. The only time where I saw his facade slip in front of the other Avengers was when he came back to earth after that whole thing happened and announcing that you were gone. He cares about you, Peter, more than you think he does. 

“I know he didn’t show that he did, but you’re all he ever talked about, to me and to Morgan, said you were smarter than him and better than him, which by the way, I never heard him say that before, and you were quite the talker. He said that all with love, only love but I could hear the sadness in his voice, so think of how relieved he was when he saw you again. And I know that Morgan is his by blood, but he also had another kid, maybe not by blood but still his kid nonetheless. I don’t think I need to say who it is because I think you know.”

Peter was silent, looking at Rhodey with tears in his eyes. He was still trying to process Rhodey’s words. He thought his ramblings only annoyed him, but it looked like he was far from the truth. He opened his mouth to argue but thought better of it and instead said quietly, “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me, but I can see it in your eyes that you don’t believe me. Wait,” Rhodey said, handing him a piece of paper and a brown box that he was holding. Had he been holding that the whole time? “Maybe this will help. I gotta go now, but I’m expecting to hear back from you soon. I gave your aunt my number, so if you don’t call, I will.” He made his way to the door but turned back once more. “Because that’s what family does.”

With that, Rhodey shut the door, leaving Peter in his thoughts. Peter looked at the paper. It was wrinkled in the corners and Peter gently pinched at the corners to straighten it. He hesitated at the edges but then opened it and began to read the contents of what appeared to be a letter with a familiar handwriting.

_Take a piece of my heart_

_And make it all your own_

_Hey Pete,_

_I figured you already received the message, so there’s no point in writing the same thing again. I’m not good with feelings but yes, I do care about you and yes, that video basically confirmed that I think of you as my kid. Yes, it’s true. I meant every word. And no, I’m not saying it again. I know you heard me the first time._

_I know I’m not there physically but that doesn’t mean I’ll disappear from your life. And don’t even start it with your self-deprecating thoughts. I won’t allow it and I’m sure everyone will agree with me. You have so many people in your corner, kid. You have your aunt, Pepper, little Morgan, Rhodey, and Happy. You have me, always have, always will. Maybe not physically there but still always here. I’ll make it work._

_Hopefully with this, you’ll realize that you’ll never be alone. You never were. Knowing you and your self-sacrificial crap, you’ll just push everyone away. Don’t do that. And don’t let yourself get killed along the way. Please. You better promise me, Pete. I won’t allow anything else._

_You’ll change the world one day, kiddo. I have no doubt about it._

_Tony_

And there, scribbled underneath his name, _I love you._

Peter blinked away the tears that formed in his eyes; it was a constant thing he’s been doing lately and he’s tired of it. But it seems like it will never end. He put the paper down on his counter with shaky hands and held the brown box in his hands. It wasn’t anything special, but he held it gingerly in his hands as he slowly opened the box.

Inside the box was sleek black glasses, the Stark logo underneath. It wasn’t just any pair of glasses. No, it was one that Peter was familiar with. He had seen it on someone constantly and he had seen them develop it in their labs and yes, the pair belonged to none other than Tony Stark. 

Peter furrowed his eyebrows. Why would Tony give him something as expensive and fragile as the pair of glasses to someone like him? Shrugging away the thought for now, he took the small paper that was lying below the glasses and turned it over to find Tony’s messy yet purposeful handwriting scrawled on the back of the Stark Industries logo: _FOR THE NEXT TONY STARK, I TRUST YOU P.S. SAY EDITH - TS_

Peter sniffled and placed the paper back in the box and closed it as gently as he could. After placing it on the counter where it was safe, he leaned back on the headboard of his bed and closed his eyes. He ran his hand over his face, trying to process everything that has happened. How Tony could trust him with something as important as this, Peter wasn’t sure. But Tony trusted him with this, and Peter intended to look after it. He probably won’t use it, but he will make sure nothing happens to it. 

He got off the bed and after placing the box and the letter safely in his drawer on his nightstand, he made his way down the stairs and greeted his aunt, who was in the kitchen, with a small smile and sat on the couch with a sigh. He heard May turn off the sink and her footsteps approaching the couch he was on. She laid her arm on the back of the couch, wrapping it around him. Her fingers ran through his hair and Peter closed his eyes, a warm feeling blossoming in his chest. He knew his aunt would always be there for him, even on his worst days like today and yesterday. She was the best. 

He felt her gaze on him and he looked over and saw her eyebrows furrowed in concern. “How are you doing, bud?”

Peter gave her a small smile but it vanished as quickly as it appeared. “I don’t think I’ll be okay for a while. It’s been rough--” his voice cracked and he cleared his throat. “But eventually, I will be. Just not right now.”

May pulled him in a side embrace so he had his head on her shoulders. “You’re so strong, Peter, and I’m so proud of you. I know Tony would be too.” She paused, tightening the embrace slightly. “I know you can get through this. And you have me to help. You know that.”

“Yeah, I know. Thank you.” He lifted his head to look at her before laying it back down on her shoulder. “I larb you.”

Peter felt May’s shoulder shake as she chuckled. “I larb you too. Movie?”

Peter nodded. “Yes, please.”

She put on Star Wars and as the opening crawl appeared on the screen, Peter smiled. He thought about all of the times May had been there for him no matter how busy she may be. She had always put him first and put her all into it to make sure he had a good life. _Yeah_ , Peter thought to himself as he snuggled closer to his aunt. She looked down at him briefly with a smile before returning her gaze to the TV, _May was the best_. 

It didn’t take long for him to get tired, his eyes already drooping. He shook his head, opening his eyes when he found them closed. He did that several more times before he heard May say his name.

“Peter,” she said amusedly. “If you’re tired, you can close your eyes. I don’t mind. And besides, when was the last time you had a full night of rest?”

“Okay,” he said tiredly, letting his eyes fall shut. “You’re the best. Though’ I’d let you know that.”

“Thanks buddy,” she said. He could hear the smile in her voice. “You are too. Now sleep.”

She pushed him until his head was on her lap and she continued to comb his hand through his hair. The last thing he heard was the sound of a ship going through space and the feel of May’s hand going through his hair and that finally lulled him to a peaceful sleep. He knew that he'll be okay as long as he had May. Sure, it may take a while, but he has all the time in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not updating sooner. College has been a lot and I didn't have time to write this. I finally had a little bit of free time to write and I hope it's okay. 
> 
> I'm happy to hear your thoughts! I have so many ideas, but I'm a finisher, so I wanted to finish this first before I start on any other ideas. But yeah, please leave a comment and tell me what you think and kudos too if you wanted. I appreciate everything though. Thank you for reading!
> 
> Thanksgiving break is coming up this month, so hopefully I'll have time to write. That is, if my professors don't pack me with work over break. But until then, I hope you enjoy this chapter and I will see you in the next chapter (hopefully soon)!


	4. Please Read

Hi you guys.

As you can see, I haven't posted in a while. I was actually thinking of this thing I'm wanting to write and it's taking longer than I thought it would. The purpose of this author's note is to inform you that after today, this story will be discontinued. I edited the previous chapter to make it sound like an ending -- hopefully it sounds okay. I just feel like this story is going nowhere and I don't know what to do to continue this story to make it worthwhile. It's been fun writing despite all the sad thoughts that come to my head while doing so. But I'm not really feeling it anymore and I don't want to force myself to write more or else it might end up horrible and I don't want that. 

I hope you all understand. I don't want to waste your time on something that I know isn't my best work. I know I can do better. I am currently coming up with an idea of a story as I speak -- or write, in this case -- so keep your eyes peeled for that. But yeah. Thank you to everyone who has taken apart of this journey of this story, but it has to end eventually. I'll see you in the next story though!

Once again, thank you all for understanding x

**Author's Note:**

> This will be a five chapter story. Just letting you know :))
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you love it so far. I'm sorry if it made you cry or sad. I made myself cry when I was writing this :((
> 
> I will update as soon as I get a chance to write.
> 
> I'd love it if you left kudos or comments, or both! I will appreciate it either way. I also welcome any feedback or constructive criticism on my stories as long as they are worded nicely. I would love to be able to improve as a writer :))


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